Being the world's #1 best-selling author isn't enough for some guys. After a string of successful hits based on his novels, Stephen King decided to branch out into writing/directing with the sci-fi/horror film- Maximum Overdrive, based on his story, "Trucks". The movie involves a ragtag bunch of misfits held up at a rest stop while machines take over the earth. Automobiles turn out to be the biggest threat, circling the parking lot while the main characters (including Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, and Lisa Simpson) try to figure out what to do next. King narrates the trailer, promising to "...scare THE HELL out of you", unconvincingly.
9. Ben and Arthur (2002)
Writer/Producer/Director/Editor/Cinematographer/Composer and star Sam Mraovich failed to set the indie-drama world ablaze with his first movie- Ben and Arthur. The plot is somewhat hard to describe, involving gay marriage, religious fanatics, demonic possession, sex shops, hit men, and Hawaii. Upon it's release, the gay pop culture site Queerty named it "the worst gay movie ever", only to later retract the "gay" qualifier and simply declare it "worst. movie. ever." The trailer, however, is a pot-boiler.
8. School Spirit (1985)
After a full 5 minutes of research on the web, here's the only info I could find on School Spirit, one of the many forgotten teen sex comedies from the mid-80s: It's about a college student (played by 36-year-old Tom Nolan) who's killed while going out for condoms and comes back as a ghost to haunt his school. That's it. No other info. Can't seem to find out if it's based on a true story or not.
7. Praise Band (2008)
There's one thing that most God-fearing people fear more than God- that a young, hip member of their congregation will start a Praise Band. I'm not really sure why the thought of someone putting together a standard Christian-rock band would be so outrageous and disturbing to some of the older members of this church. Maybe it takes place in the same town as Footloose.
6. Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1991)
The Ghoulies series is probably most infamous for making little kids scared of using the toilet. After I saw the sequel, I was terrified that a little monster might jump up and bite my butt off while on the potty (hey, I was only 19!). After so many bathroom fatalities in the first two films, there was really only one place for the series to go- COLLEGE.
5. Gymkata (1985)
I know what you're thinking; Wouldn't it be cool if a gymnast on the pommel horse was kicking people in the face instead of just air? The answer is yes. Yes it would be. Olympic gold medalist Kurt Thomas is recruited by the SIA (Special Intelligence Agency) to go to the fictional country of Parmistan to participate in The Game. A martial arts tournament where he can combine his gymnast skills with that of ninjitsu. Based on the novel accurately titled The Terrible Game.
4. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
Academy award winner/screen icon Jon Voight has the following lines of dialogue in this film:
"I'm warning you, Crowe, I'm Bill Biscane and if you touch my diapers you're fired."
"Normal? What do you know? You are not a real doctor... where's my soda pop?"
"Get them! Get them! Get them! Get the babies!"
Also, the movie should win some sort of award for having the most awkward sounding title on this list.
3. The Human Tornado (1976)
Somewhat of a sequel to star Rudy Ray Moore's 1975 craptastic-classic, Dolemite, Moore once again stars as the titular hero. This time he's caught up in a web of...you know what? I have no idea what this movie is about. I've seen it three times and I'm still perplexed. Given that it's a Dolemite film it has many, many strange and inexplicable scenes. The trailer gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect. Lots of jokes, done in Moore's archaic rap style. Lots of gratuitous nudity. And lots, LOTS, of slow, awkward, karate punches and kicks with loud foley.
2. Tiptoes (2003)
I have to be honest here, the first time I saw this trailer I kept waiting to hear the record-scratch and for the upbeat music to kick in, letting me know it was all a put-on. Halfway through I realized this was a real movie and the people who made it were serious. Now don't get me wrong, I think there's room for quality movies featuring little people like The Station Agent, but having Gary Oldman doing the shoes-on-knees trick in his "role of a lifetime" ain't it.
1. Honky (1971)
Love the title. And the tag line- "A love story...OF HATE."
