10. Dolph Lundgren "A Little Less Conversation"
Most of the action heroes on this list got famous for playing hardass, reluctant heroes. Lundgren is probably best known for trying to hurt or kill those same heroes in movies like Rocky IV and Universal Soldier. Nevertheless, Lundgren has etched out a place for himself among the stars of the genre. Here he is, doing a ridiculous cover of an overplayed Elvis song.
9. James Gandolfini "A Man Without Love" Romance and Cigarettes (2005)
Gandolfini, mostly known for his work as an obese, violent, asshole in...everything, sings lead off for John Turturro's pet project/bomb Romance and Cigarettes. This curio features Kate Winslet, Susan Sarandon, and Christopher Walken amongst others as blue collar New Yorkers that break into song. I wish all movies were this weird and ill-conceived.
Twins proved to be a turning point in Schwarzenneger's career. After it's success, Schwarzenegger went from being a superstar action icon to being a superstar action icon that made a couple of other crappy comedies and back to being a superstar action icon and then governor. Here he is, jamin' to the oldies while a stewardess throws herself at him.
7. Vin Diesel "Tinman's song"
Can't wait for Fash Five 6.
6. Steven Segal "Girl, It's Alright" from the album Songs From the Crystal Grave (2005)
Between being a Reserve Deputy Chief in Bumfuck, Louisana and appearing in forgettable straight-to-DVD masterpieces, Segal holds a secret passion...making Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt! The greatest energy drink in the world, with flavors like Cherry Charge and Asian Experience. Also, he enjoys boring people with R & B.
5. Jet Li "???" from Kids of Shaolin 2 (1984)
I don't know what's going on here, because I don't speak Chinese. From what I can tell, Li is a camp counselor trying to impress a girl by making fun of her through song. Li pops up around the 0:45 mark and if he isn't dubbed, he probably has the sweetest singing voice on the list.
4. Sean Connery "My Pretty Irish Girl" from Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
There are two times when it's okay for guys to sing- when you're using a scythe or when you're beating someone up. Connery sings while doing the former. Saving himself a little embarassment.
3. Bruce Willis "Segram's Golden Wine Coolers" Segram's Commercial (1987)
Willis personifies the wise-cracking, American tough guy. Which makes it odd that someone with a reputation for being a hardened smartass would humilate himself by singing his love for wine coolers. A drink mostly enjoyed by 15-year-old girls. Supposedly, his appareance in these commercials both boasted sales for Segrams and helped launch his singing career. Seagram's later dropped him as a spokesman after he was arrested for DUI. Presumingly after drinking too many peach fuzzy navels.
2. Sylvester Stallone "Stay Out Of My Bedroom" from Rhinestone (1984)
When casting the role of an aspiring country music star, you probably wouldn't think of Stallone. But that was the premise behind one of 1984's biggest flops, Rhinestone. Stallone plays a cabbie who's discovered by country crooner Dolly Parton and taken under her wing to become a Nashville hero. The following year Stallone released Rambo and luckily wiped all memory of this project from the public's memory.
1. Clint Eastwood "I Talk To The Trees" from Paint Your Wagon (1969)
If there's any movie that Eastwood regrets during his long and successful career, it has to be Paint Your Wagon. This mega-budget Western-musical features the quintessential guy's guy, singing the wussiest song ever about how he talks to the trees because he can't share his feelings with the girl he loves. That's it Callahan, turn in your and man-badge.
